Uncovering the Unexpected
by Incorrect
Summary: After Hermione Granger walks in on Severus Snape naked, she doesn't think life could get any worse. But when Ron lets it slip to the whole school how well-endowed the most hated teacher is, her hopes of the incident blowing over are diminished. R&R
1. Chapter 1

**Uncovering the Unexpected**

**Chapter 1**

"Damnit!" Hermione cursed as her, Harry, and Ron, walked down the halls to go to the Gryffindor house. It was the end of the day and the halls of the school were quickly emptying, leaving where they were almost deserted. Hermione had halted in the middle of the pathway, looking flustered.

Harry and Ron stopped, looking over at her. "What is it?" Harry asked. Hermione didn't normally swear, so this was a bad sign.

"Oh, nothing." Hermione brushed it off, starting to walk again, despite the feeling in her stomach. "It's just that I remembered I left my potion book back in Snape's classroom. I need it to finish the homework he assigned." she groaned, mentally kicking herself.

Harry looked over at her, seeming to not understand the problem. "So just go get it," he told her.

Ron elbowed him in the ribs. "This is _Snape's classroom_ we're talking about, Harry. She'd have to go in there all alone, and he might be inside. How awful would that be?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like he'll kill me. He might take away house points though, for forgetfulness or something along those lines." she groaned again, rubbing her forehead and cursing herself for leaving her things in the first place.

Despite not wanting to go, she stopped and reluctantly began to turn around. "I better go get it, I need to finish that homework." she told her friends, which earned her pitiful looks from the both of them.

"Good luck."

* * *

><p>It hadn't taken long for her to reach Professor Snape's classroom.<p>

Hermione stopped at the door, her hands hesitantly resting on smooth wood. She could always turn back now and just say she had misplaced her homework when the subject came up. But she had never missed a homework mark, and she wasn't going to start now.

But what if he refused to let her get her stuff? Oh well, might as well try, right? _Right_?

Right.

Without a second thought, she pushed open the heavy door, revealing his classroom. It was surprisingly empty, Snape no where to be seen. She saw that the door leading to his office was almost closed and light was seeping from under it, and she knew he must be in there.

Better do this quick.

Quietly she tiptoed over to her desk, gratefully noticing her book sitting on top of it as if it had been waiting for her. After she had quickly grabbed it and stuffed it into her bag, she started for the door. But something made her stop.

A sound was coming from the other room.

It was almost like a frustrated grunt, and Hermione knew had to be Snape. But, what was he doing? Was he okay?

She didn't know, but her good and nosey nature got the best of her, and she silently walked over to the door. It stood ajar, about an inch open. She peeked through, but caught sight of nothing except the corner of his desk. Frustrated, she ever so slightly pushed the door, causing it to open a little more.

She did this until there was enough room to see, and what she saw made her jaw drop.

Severus Snape was standing in his office, stark naked. He didn't even have any undergarments on. No, he was showing all his glory. From her view Hermione only saw his backside, and that was more than enough.

_Damn, he has a nice ass..._

Hermione was surprised that she even thought that, and her eyes widened a bit. Did she really mean that? She shouldn't be thinking thoughts like that about a teacher, let alone Snape.

He was grumbling about something, looking around as if trying to find something.

"God...it's so hot...finally I can relax..." she heard him mutter as he searched. His robes were lying on his desk, and he seemed to be searching for something else to change into. He turned around, still looking, leaving Hermione even more shocked than she already was.

The most hated and feared teacher in school had the biggest package she had ever seen, and was probably the largest in the school. How had she not known he was that well endowed?

Incidentally she let out a little gasp, but quickly covered her mouth in fear that he heard.

Severus Snape was a lot of things, but he wasn't deaf. His head snapped up suddenly, and he focused his dark gaze at the door, right at where she was staring.

"Granger!"

Hermione ran.

* * *

><p>It seemed like it took forever to get back to the Gryffindor house. Even though she knew Snape would never leave his office to chase after her while he was bare-ass naked, she ran all the way.<p>

Images of him flashed through her mind. Images she didn't want to remember but couldn't help enjoy at the same time. This was wrong on so many levels.

After mumbling the password, she stepped inside the almost empty Gryffindor common room. It was late, and only a few students were still up at this time. Harry and Ron were sitting on one of the many couches, playing wizard chess.

They must have waited up for her. For some reason she had figured she would just go to bed and wouldn't have to face them. But, of course, they'd want to know if Snape was actually in his classroom.

When she walked over to them they looked up expectantly, curious expressions on their faces. "Did you get your book?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Hermione gasped for breath from the sprint she had just ran. She pulled her book from her bag, showing it to them. "I got it." As she stood there, panting for breath, she couldn't help thinking about Snape's...um.

Ron looked at her closely. "Are you okay? Was he in there?"

After a hesitant moment, Hermione sat down next to them. She didn't want to tell them of what happened, but knew they would harass her until she did. "Yeah...he was there." she began reluctantly.

"What happened?" Ron asked eagerly, scooting closer to hear her better. Harry did the same, the wizard chess board lying on the couch, forgotten.

"Well, let's start from when I walked into the classroom..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Uncovering the Unexpected**

**Chapter 2**

Although Hogwarts was nothing close to a Muggle school, it shared its similarities with one in some aspects. Because, as all schools go, everyone wanted gossip. It didn't matter what it was or whether it was true or not. As long as the story was interesting, students would stop to listen.

So when word got out about Professor Snape's good genetics, it was all over the school the next day.

Honestly, Hermione hadn't meant for everyone to know. She had only told Ron and Harry, who stared at her in awe as she described the scene. But she had forgotten the fact that Ron had a big mouth when it came to these things. He told Fred and George, and then Ginny, and well...

Somehow it had spread over the entire school by breakfast. Hermione was more than embarrassed, and during the morning at the Great Hall, she refused to even steal a glance up at the teacher's table. She was surprised Snape hadn't approached her yet, all things considered.

But, as she ate her meal, she could feel his gaze burning into her, though she never looked over to check if he was staring at her.

On her side, Ron chattered to Harry.

"Can you _believe_ it? I mean, who would ever thing Snape would have a big one? With that, he needs to get laid more often. Maybe then he wouldn't be such a strict killjoy all the time." he looked over at Hermione. "Are you _sure_ it was big?" he asked for the billionth time.

Hermione's cheeks burned. "Yes, I'm sure."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, seated at the table in the front, Severus Snape stared down at Hermione Granger. To say he had been thoroughly surprised when he caught her staring through his door would be an understatement.<p>

She had ran away before he could punish her for spying, and when he had gotten dressed he knew she must have gone to hide in her house. _Typical..._

He contemplated a good punishment, but couldn't really think of one. He could always give her a detention or two, but if McGonagall got whiff and approached him, he knew he wouldn't be too keen to admit what happened.

To say that he had been foolish enough to keep his door open while he was undressing was something he could never do. After all, it's not like it was his fault as McGonagall would assume. No, if Granger hadn't been snooping, this never would have happened.

Now the nosey girl was avoiding looking at him. It annoyed him to no ends, considering she had no right to barge into his classroom in the first place and invade his personal life and privacy, and then pretend it never happened.

Another thing that he noticed was a lot more students than usual were looking up at where he sat this morning. But every time he would catch one of them, they would quickly look away as if they were embarrassed.

Although he had never been one to even attempt to give a decent reason on why adolescents acted the way they did, this was a bit off-putting. But, then again, these were the idiots he taught on a daily basis.

In the meantime, he'd have to have a word with Granger and take a few house points away.

* * *

><p>Hermione had been dreading Potions ever since she had walked in on Snape.<p>

She could feel a hard stone in the bottom of her stomach, and no matter what she did it wouldn't go away. She hoped the class would never come, but, as things had a way of doing, the more you dreaded something, the faster it seemed to come.

The end of the day arrived all too soon. Hermione had been even hoping that Flitwick would hold them back a few minutes to explain how to do a simple charm _again_. But no.

As she walked down the corridors, she could see through the window that outside the sun was high in the sky. Its shine fell onto the clouds, making them look even whiter against the cool blue of the sky.

It might as well have been storming.

When Hermione stepped into the cold dungeons of the Potions class, Ron and Harry flanked at her side, she avoided everyone's gaze. Professor Snape was sitting at his desk, currently too involved in what he was writing to even notice the students entering.

Taking her usual seat, Hermione pulled out her Potions book and pieces of parchment like it was any other class.

Finally, Snape finished what he was doing and put down his quill, standing up to survey the class. Hermione gulped as she feared what was to come next, but the professor's eyes didn't even stop to linger on her as he swept in the students.

"Okay, class," he drawled lazily after a moment, still eyeing each student with equal coldness. "Today we will be making a love potion."

A few of the students snickered loudly, casting glances in Hermione's direction. Not because of what he said, but because of well...

"Silence!" Snape snapped, his black eyes falling on Ron, who happened to be the loudest of all the kids stifling their giggles. "Would you be so kind to tell me, Mr. Weasley, what you and half the class find so funny? I'd love to be enlightened."

Ron's cheeks turned a color similar to that of his hair. "Well, uh..."

"Spit it out."

"We think love potions are funny, sir."

That was one of the weakest excuses Hermione had ever heard. Meanwhile, she was trying not to look at Snape's face, which ended up backfiring. Her eyes traveled down his body, landing on his lower region, causing unwanted thoughts to enter her mind.

_Don't think about it! Don't think about! Don't think about it!_

"Ten points from Gryffindor for lying to me, Mr. Weasley. But, as it may be, class needs to go on and I have no time for your childish games." Snape snapped icily, and then began to walk down the aisles of desks.

"Now, children, love potions are currently banned in the wizarding world..."

Hermione had trouble paying attention after that. Surprisingly, Snape didn't even pay an extra glance in her direction the entire rest of the class. When it was time to go, Hermione was sure that she had lucked out and Snape would allow this whole thing to blow over.

But no. As she and the rest of the students were putting away their things, she heard Snape's voice from behind her. "Miss. Granger, please stay after class."

Uh-oh.

* * *

><p><strong>Review. I know you want to.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Unconvering the Unexpected**

**Chapter 3**

Hermione had to do her best from not dying right then and there.

Stay after class? What did he want with her?

Fact was she knew exactly what he wanted. And that was what scared her the most.

Hermione could see Harry and Ron cast sympathetic glances in her direction, while most of the rest of the class looked like they wanted to burst out laughing. Draco Malfoy, on the other hand, mouthed, 'you're screwed,' at her, a smirk on his face.

For the first time in her life, Hermione thought that he might be right.

The class quickly exited, a few people lingering at the door in hopes of hearing a few bits of the conversation. But, finally, they left and the whole room was deserted. Well, all of it except for Hermione and the one person she didn't want to be alone with.

He was sitting at his desk, scribbling something on a piece of parchment. For a moment Hermione wondered if he had forgotten he had held her back. If so, she might be able to manage leaving without him noticing. But then he stopped his writing, sat down his quill and straightened up, fixing her with a dark stare.

So much for that idea.

Hermione, meanwhile, was sitting in her seat in the front row, trying not to squirm. "You-You wanted to talk to me, professor?" she asked nervously.

"Oh yes," Snape said silkily, his face almost unreadable as he stared her down.

Hermione was feeling very uncomfortable. "About what?" she asked. She knew it was pointless to pretend she didn't know, but she couldn't bring herself to outright admit it.

"I think you know," he drawled, his eyes narrowing. "I just wanted to know what you were doing in my classroom last night after school hours."

Hermione couldn't take it. She suddenly broke down, all her feelings since then flooding out. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had forgotten my book from class and I wanted to do the homework so I didn't get in trouble and I heard a noise and I didn't mean to walk on you when you were..."

"When I was what, Mrs. Granger?" Snape suddenly interrupted, his voice having a hint of accusation.

"When you were naked, sir." Hermione was surprised she didn't die right then and there. Her cheeks were redder than Ron's hair, and that was saying something.

Snape suddenly scowled at her and, when he spoke, his voice was low and menacing. "Now, Miss. Granger, a student seeing a teacher like that is highly inappropriate, and it will never happen again."

Hermione nodded quickly.

"I'm taking ten points from Gryffindor for you forgetting your things, and another twenty for going around the castle after hours and entering a teacher's classroom without permission."

Hermione's face fell, but she knew this was hardly punishment. She wanted to ask why he was undressing in his classroom in the first place, but knew better than to open her mouth.

Snape suddenly stood up and walked over to her desk, causing her to instinctively press back in her chair. He set his hands on the sides of her desk, leaning in to stare eye-to-eye at her. Hermione gulped.

"Now listen here, Miss. Granger. What you saw in my classroom is something that is not going to be discussed ever again. Do not ask me about it. Do not tell any of your housemates or little friends about it. Do I make myself clear?"

With that, Hermione Granger prayed for death.

Her parents would cry at her funeral. Harry and Ron would be silent, too overwhelmed with grief to speak. Her former teachers would step up and say kind things about her and all that she did. There would be pretty flowers everywhere, but everyone would be too sad to notice.

All this ran through her mind as she stared up at the dark, intimidating face of Severus Snape.

For a moment, she felt as if she couldn't breath. Would he kill her? Quite possibly.

"Well, um, you see..." Hermione started hesitantly, glancing around. "I might have already told, um, a few people..."

"You what?" Snape momentarily looked shocked, but then his eyes narrowed with an intense anger Hermione had never seen before on anyone but him. "You told? Why would you...? _Who_?"

"Harry and Ron." Hermione squeaked, her voice just barely over a whisper.

Snape suddenly slammed his hand on her desk, causing her to jump. He angrily paced over to his desk where he sat down, but then stood back up. "What did you tell them, exactly?" he asked. "Don't lie to me, Granger. I'm not in the mood to play games."

"I told them I walked on you when you were naked and that you..." Hermione couldn't say it. She just couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence.

"That I _what_?"

Hermione didn't say anything.

"Answer me!"

"That you were well endowed, sir." Hermione finally choked out, blushing furiously. She refused to look at him for a moment, but finally glanced up.

He was standing there, his mouth opened with shock and his eyes wide. Time passed, how much she didn't know. It could've been a second or an hour. It didn't matter. But, finally, Snape slowly closed his mouth and his tense body relaxed a little.

A little.

"Why on earth would you tell them that, Miss. Granger?" he asked, his voice surprisingly calm, but with an edge of ice to it.

"Because I...I was shocked." Hermione stuttered. "I saw my professor _naked_. I was caught off guard."

"Are they the only ones who know?" Snape asked, closing his eyes for a moment.

Hermione wished she could leave. "Well, um, no, sir. Ron kind of told some other people, and they told some more other people and now the whole school knows." she gulped.

Snape's fists clenched. "This is why they were laughing," he muttered to himself, opening his eyes. Neither spoke for a minute, until finally Snape seemed to think of something. "Okay, Miss. Granger, here is what we are going to do."

He paused for a second, but then went on. "You said the whole school knows. Well, coming from experience, I know this type of thing is going to take a good long while to blow over. I could either ignore it or..."

Hermione looked nervous. "Or what?"

"Or I could feed the rumor so it would get old quicker."

"How are you going to do that?" Hermione wasn't sure what he meant by that.

Snape didn't answer. Instead, he walked over to his desk, sitting back down. "Do not tell anyone of this conversation, understand?"

Hermione nodded quickly. "Can I leave now?"

Snape glanced at the clock. "Yes, it's five minutes after when you should have been in your house. Twenty points from Gryffindor."

* * *

><p><strong>I was gonna post this yesterday, but fanfiction wasn't working right. And, oh yeah, review please.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Uncovering the Unexpected**

**Chapter 4**

Despite the pressure from Harry and Ron, Hermione managed to keep her mouth shut on what she and Professor Snape had discussed.

She was curious on what he had meant by "feeding the rumor so it would get old quicker." What was he going to do? Would it involve her? Dear Merlin she hoped it wouldn't. She had enough problems to worry about.

But, during breakfast in the Great Hall, Snape seemed perfectly normal. Well, if you could call his usual self normal. In fact, it seemed as if he didn't know the whole school was talking about what was in his pants.

"Come _on_, Hermione," Ron begged again. She had lost track of how many times he had prodded her for information. "What did he say?"

"Nothing," Hermione answered automatically, cutting her gaze away from Snape to stare at her two best friends.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "You're lying, aren't you? Something bad must have really happened, then. Did he suspend you? Take a hundred points from Gryffindor?"

_Only fifty..._Hermione thought to herself, but didn't answer.

The rest of the morning her friends did their best to pry her of any information, but it was futile. She wasn't going to tell, not after Snape told her not to. She had already spread enough information about her Professor that year.

But still, she wanted to know exactly what Snape had planned.

So when Potions rolled around the corner, Hermione felt both curiosity and dread.

* * *

><p>The class started off like it did every time.<p>

They all got out their books and quills, sitting in their normal seats. Snape was at his desk, finishing up some teacher stuff. Hermione wondered if he had always been this busy writing stuff down, or if fate had decided to do this just to make her feel uncomfortable for longer amounts of time.

After a moment he stood up, surveying the class with that same unreadable expression he always wore. Hermione gulped.

"Now, class, considering that most of you failed to make a basic love potion last class, we're going to re-do it," Snape began in his normal tone. "This time, though, I expect you all to try and act like you're not complete idiots for an hour. Understand?"

The class nodded, a few students looking giggly, probably thinking about the rumor that had spread.

"Okay, now that it's settled, I'd like to start off by-" Snape suddenly stopped himself, cutting his gaze away from the class to glare down at Ron. "-Mr. Weasley, would you please explain why you are staring at my pants like that?"

Hermione looked over at Ron. He was blushing, staring up at their professor with a horrified expression on his face. For a moment Hermione wondered if he had been _actually_ staring at Snape's pants or if this was some sort of game Snape was playing.

The whole class had fallen to a dead silence. It seemed as if everyone wanted to laugh, but knew better than to in front of their professor.

"Um...erm...well," Ron stuttered incoherently.

Snape looked annoyed, staring down at the red-haired boy with an icy look in his eyes. "I'm waiting."

Ron still didn't answer.

"Surely, Mr. Weasley, it couldn't be that _hard_, could it?" Snape drawled accusingly, almost menacingly. "I mean, it's not that _big_ of a question, is it?"

Ron, along with most of the rest of the class, looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. "I-I don't understand."

"Oh, I think you do." Snape said accusingly, putting his hands on Ron's desk. "Tell me, is there something on my pants?"

"I wasn't staring at your trousers, sir." Ron said quietly. "So I wouldn't know."

A small sneer appeared on the professor's face. "Are you sure you weren't? Because, for a moment there, I could have sworn you were checking me out. Maybe there wasn't something on my pants you were noticing, but something _in _them."

Hermione had to bite her cheeks to keep herself from laughing. Ron, who was next to her, looking purely terrified. "I wouldn't...I mean, I wasn't...I could never...sir."

Snape suddenly removed his hands from the desk, straightening up and walking back to the front of the room. Every pair of eyes followed him, full of disbelief. "It has come to my attention that there are a few rumors going around the school about myself," he began, turning around to stare at the class, his voice even.

A few students took in a sharp sudden intake of breath, surprised. Hermione was staring at him, wide-eyed. She had never thought he would address the matter directly. Ron looked about ready to hex himself.

"Now, that being said, I don't normally care for gossip. And, well, gossip concerning me is not something I will tolerate. I wish for these rumors to stop immediately, and if I hear anyone talk about it or see anyone who is _thinking_ about laughing in my class, I will happily hand out a detention. Do I make myself clear?"

The class nodded meekly.

Snape smirked slightly, and then continued, "Now, back to our lesson...Mrs. Granger, what do you want?"

Hermione hadn't realized she had raised her hand. It was kind of an automatic move, one that you did without even thinking. She gulped, feeling suddenly brave about what she was about to ask.

"Well, sir, I was kind of wondering...Exactly how big is your manhood?"

Another dead silence entered the room. No one spoke, fearing sudden death if they did. Snape looked shocked by her question, and he stared at her with an expression she couldn't read.

But, after a moment, he spoke. "I find that question highly inappropriate, Miss. Granger. Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Well, we were all wondering, sir," Hermione stated boldly. "Could you tell us?"

Snape gave her a hard stare, looking as if he was planning to make her go to detention every week until her death. But, finally, he opened his mouth, and when he spoke, his voice was even. "Well, Mrs. Granger, I don't exactly know. But if I had to guess, maybe about eight inches?"

_Damn..._

The whole class turned red. The most hated teacher in the school had just announced the size of his package. Although Snape seemed to have only answered to humor himself, everyone was still covered in a shocked sort of awe.

Hermione was going to stay silent, but another question came to mind. "Um, could you possibly _show_ us, sir?"

She knew the question was completely absurd. And besides, she had already seen him in all his glory. She couldn't believe the incident was only a few nights ago, considering it seemed like forever had passed. The image of his naked body was still sharp in her mind, clearer than ever.

But still...maybe she wanted to see him like that again.

And, for a moment, she thought she was going to. Snape got this odd expression on his face, and she thought he was actually going to pull down his pants down in the middle of class.

But no, he stared her straight in the eye and narrowed his eyes. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

Hermione felt disappointed. And, by looking at the faces of the other students, she didn't think she was the only one.

Class continued normally after that, and right before it was over everyone began to put their notes and quills away in their bags. Hermione was about to get up and leave, until she heard a dark, brooding voice from behind her.

"Miss. Granger, would you please stay after class? I have something I need to..._show_ you."

Hermione smiled.

The end.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I hope you enjoyed the story. I had fun writing it, even if some of it was a bit out of character. Review on your thoughts, please. I'd love to hear your feedback.<strong>

**Also, I know they don't use American measurements in Europe. I just didn't know what the equivalent for inches would be.**


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